In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully, we'll wait."
On an electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."
Outside a radiator repair shop: "Best place in town to take a leak."
In the non-smoking area of a fire station: "If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
On a front door: "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog."
At an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
In a dry cleaner's emporium: "Drop your pants here."
In a veterinarian's waiting room: "Back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
On a maternity room door: "Push. Push. Push."
At a towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
On the trucks of a local plumbing company: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
Sign over a gynecologist's office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
On a Plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed."
Door of a plastic surgeon's office: "Hello. Can we pick your nose?"
Inside a bowling alley: "Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop."
On a taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."
In a podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."
At a car dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet -- miss a car payment."
Outside a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming."
On a billboard: "Pixie Stix, cause some kids can't afford crack."
(Submitted by Zach Bower)
