Not So Tender 2-Line Poems

These are couplets taken from where the have an annual competition for writing the most romantic first line and the most unromantic second (Valentine Slam). Here are a few of my favorite entries...

Roses are red, violets are blue,
sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead,
the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

I see your face when I am dreaming
That's why I always wake up screaming

My love for you is like a rose
One that's dead and never grows

Those words I spoke were true and grand
But "I love U2"? I meant the BAND

Beauty is on the inside, but some may doubt,
If it's true, I'd prefer you inside out.

You are my sun, my moon, my star
I wish to see you... from afar

To tell you what you mean to me
Would get me bleeped on live TV

Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face

I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother

I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes-
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My love for you will never die
Unless I meet another guy

If I were a dog and you were a flower
I'd lift my leg up and give you a shower

After you, my love, my only prize
Would be a bullet between my eyes

My feelings for you no words can tell
Except for maybe "go to hell"