"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, The Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the US of arrogance, and Germany doesn't want to go to war."
~Charles Barkley
"My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim."
~Paula Poundstone
"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
~Drew Carey
"The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house."
~Jeff Foxworthy
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
~Jack Nicholson
"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
~Robin Williams
Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children"
~Unknown
"I really enjoy traveling to overseas countries a lot....like Canada!"
~Brittney Spears (from the US)
(submitted by Sally)
