Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times, does he become disoriented?
Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?
How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?"
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
If Milli Vanilli fell in the woods, would someone else make a sound?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racecar not called a racist?
Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?
If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why are drive-through ATM machines in braille?
Why do you drive on a parkway but park on a driveway?
What do people in China call their good plates?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Why does your gynecologist leave the room when you get undressed?
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? And if there is one goose and 2 geese, why isn't there one moose, 2 meese?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you try first?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here,and drink whatever comes out?"
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes out of its butt."
