One Person's Dream, Another Person's Nightmare
~Part I - State of Anomie~
By: JoAnna Martin

Once the light was shining bright
but now it’s slowly fading away.
I am left alone in a 
state of anomie,
feeling totally isolated
with no will to live.
Fate has a way of taking
what is held closest to the heart.
Rage and fury rise up in my body
with the force of 
an angry God awakening
as I think about 
what was taken from me.
The pain draws nearer
as I think of my lover
laying alone in his eternal mahogany bed
to forever rest in peace-
unlike me.
It is God’s fault,
as is everything.
The Devil never would’ve taken him from me.
Damien worshipped him,
prayed to him, 
served him,
loved him.
The Devil in return gave him powers,
incredible powers
and all feared him.
All but me.
He would never hurt me.
He had many powers, though,
ones I have never even seen, 
ones I wouldn’t want to see
because they were so horrible.
But, I accepted him
and all his evils
because I loved him.
I still do.  I always will.
As I painfully reminisce,
I lean against what used to be
our favorite tree,
the weeping willow tree-
so sad, yet so comforting.
I wonder what makes her so sad.
Maybe she herself 
has lost a loved one once.
I wrap my arm around one of the low branches,
damp from this afternoons rain 
and cry silently to myself.
The willow seems to embrace me, 
filling my empty soul with love.
I light a cigarette with my free hand
and fill my lungs with each inhalation
just like me and Damien used to do
after hours of passionate love making.
As my head fills with thoughts of him
a lonely tear slips from my eye
and trickles down my cheek
while my mind wanders far away,
deep into a painful memory.
Oh God, does the past hurt!
As I exhale,
a figure forms from the smoke 
as it leaves my lips.
A distorted apparition began materializing 
from a realm I never knew existed. 
At first, 
I thought I was hallucinating
but I was sober
and it was too life-like anyway
to be my imagination.
The apparition slowly soars 
above my head.
His eyes flare red
as he opens his mouth
to speak to me.
His mouth was the same as Daemon’s.
Sweet, thin lips
with an evil curve at the edges
that made every smile a sneer.
Perfect teeth lay behind 
Daemon’s unforgettable lips
making his smile always warm my heart.
But, where Damien’s teeth were stained yellow
from cigarette smoking,
the spirit’s teeth were stained red
from droplets of blood.
Is he friend or foe?


Next
Epic Poem Index
Morbid Poetry Index
Poetry Index