LOST HOPE

I have lost a battle that should have been mine to win.
I failed life in this place that was never my own.
And I’ve lost the truest love I’ll ever know.
How do I possibly go on from here?
There is only death inside of me, no place for life.
I am drifting off to somewhere far beyond human emotion.
Revenant of this social existence or just another phantom.
I will love only one for the rest of my life, never another to take his place.
How stupid I was to let things go too far.
Pride goes before the fall or so I have heard.
Well, thy church hath no place in mine heart.
Back to where the earth mother brought me to life.
A place I knew as hell could be my only redemption now.
But, nothing will ever be the same again.
I will never be the same child I once was.
Now an ancient being that wanders through.
So, how do I find a way to live again?



CURSED DEAD NIGHT
 
Five years have passed the sign of my death.
Twisted metal and sirens screaming in the night.
Somehow, I think I did die that dark night.
And now I am nothing but an undead soul wandering.
I hear the whispering in my ear, accusing and taunting.
Liars and thieves bemoaning an illogical fate.
Their death fate rests upon my shoulders.
I never wanted to hold this unholy gift.
Twisted and writhing in the fire of my doubt.
The razor grants me nothing but blood from my skin.
There’s no antichrist in my kitchen you know.
And I don’t have the voice of the goddess fairy.
I am a demon in the waking, dark angel if you will.
God has left his children behind to die, we are forgotten.
I was forgotten and left to die, left to forget whoever I used to be.
My wings burned away in a passion to serve the Father.
So, fatherless I am now, an orphan of darkness.
Damned and betrayed by one I trusted my heart and soul in.
Welcome into me the chaos and shadows, I am nothing now.



SORROW

I am taken by the ocean waves to a new depth of darkness.
A terrible violence of this raging storm beneath my skin.
Wash it all away, let me drown in the sorrow of my shadows.
Bury me in the waves of lonely desires and wishes.
There is nothing left of me but ashes of distant memories.
How did it come to be that I would be nothing but a creature?
Unholy and banished by the sunshine into eternal darkness.
I remember who I was then, what I knew, the intensity of love.
And I still think of you, my love, my destroyer, the end of me.
I keep looking back to the cool October nights six years past.
My psycho-tornadic ways and your calm way of soothing my soul.
I dream of you always in the cool evenings that have now come.
And I damn you for ever knowing me the way you did then and now.
This book of secrets shall forever remain open in the shadow I cast.
It can never be closed, for I have lost the key to this lock I need.
And I feel I betray one that has loved me more than you ever would.
So, I betray your memory and give away the soul that belongs to you.
I give it to one who can see my sorrow and darkness.
In sorrow and death, life and light, no matter what, I’m your slave.



DARK ANGEL RISING

Now I teeter on the edge of the bridge.
They pushed and pushed, it is almost done.
One more move and I will fall.
The flies have come, now I’m falling.
There is never an end to the abyss.
I could fall forever, but the wings have finally grown.
This was not my fault, I never wanted this.
They all came to cut my throat.
Taunting, slicing, ripping away.
I now belong to the dead gods.
Undead and struggling to live again.
Like a vampire that craves blood, I crave the warm touch.
This world destroyed me, their rules no longer apply.
I will be their devil, their antichrist.
For they created this evil.
And I will create their doom.
This dark angel has found his wings.
And he rises now from the abyss.
This is the beginning.
The beginning of the end of all of you.



SHADOW DANCER

I know that the dead can dance, I have seen it, I have heard it.
I know it for the truth, for I dance as well.
Dancing an eternal waltz within the shadows of time.
A bedazzled spiraling of mystic threads.
All woven into one story or another.
My own weaves it's way around and around.
Within and without, it knows it's own path.
And I spin and spin in my gypsy ways.
Creating in me a tornado of darkness.
Tempting the waters of the passage.
Calling up dust to make illusions of what I wish to see.
Destroying none, I leave my mark upon all I pass through.
They call me a man possessed, but I am dispossessed.
Barely enough room in this body to contain me.
How could another demon inhabit such a place as this?
Well, if they want a demon, I'll give them such.
And if an angel, I'll give them that as well.
This is me, angelic demon or demonic angel.
I have no allegiance to good or evil.
I refuse to be bound by these ideas.
I am just a shadow dancing in a mirror.
And I will be a mirror to show their own darkness.
A darkness that dances around their own hearts.
So, what more can I really say here?
I'm not going anywhere, I'm here to stay.
I will dance in the darkness and be free.
A gypsy in the mists, dancing among the stones.
A shadow dancer that will no longer be destroyed.



THREADS

Something has melted away the light in my world.
What’s it going to take to bring it back to my heart?
This house of cards I built so thoughtfully has fallen.
God is nowhere to be found, he’s out to lunch today.
And the witches just stand silent in their circle.
No one can hear my silent screams in the night.
Tell me now, am I crazy or is this all there really is?
The wind scatters my tarot, building an endless maze.
And the anniversary of my death has come and gone.
Leaving me behind once again to unravel the riddles in my head.
These riddles in my heart have led me to an old dreamscape.
Riddles and webs and threads that unwind and ensnare.
I have become the hunter of those that threaten my dreamworld.
Killing off the darkness that threatens my love.
And yet, he is still just out of my reach.
This is my darkness, my madness, and my desire.
Maybe I have gone too far into that world.
Whose dreaming soul have I just now started to protect?
I never want to awaken from this dream.
I know if I could only stay long enough, I will find him.
These threads between the worlds are tangled.
I fumble and falter trying to find the meaning.
The answers to questions of gods and witches lie between.
Maybe I have never been silent in my screams after all.
Perhaps those screams had only fallen upon deaf ears.
And I just walked among the blind trying to be seen.
This maze of cards must fall, just as the house had done.
The cards can never really stand within the tornado of my soul.
Maybe if I find the right thread to cut, the answers will be clear.
Until I find the answers, I will forever remain a slave to a dream.
And I will forever wander the waking world without love.
Without the love I have found in my dreams.

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