EMO AGAIN BUT NOT TO LAST

I laid the metal on my wrist
I pressed it down
I felt nothing
Blood flowed slowly
I pulled
The blood fell to my lap
It's not enough
I still feel nothing
I push and pull again
The blood falls again but to the floor
Still, I feel no pain
AGAIN!
I calm down
My clothes are stained with blood
There are three slashes
All alone on my wrist
I had finally healed
I put pressure on the wound
Much is covered with blood
The bleeding stops
I casually back on my wrist disguise
No one notices
No one sees my tears
Just three more scars
No one cares
I go back to my friends in my disguise
One notices
FINALLY!
He pulls off my disguise
THANK YOU!
He helps me solve my problems
He is like a god to me
He made me promise
To never hurt myself again
I respected him, so I agreed
I haven't done since
I beleive I love him
For loved me
When no one cared
Thank you my "God"
You have saved me
Thank you Jon
You cared



MY BIG BROTHER
*SLAM*
why? I didn't do anything wrong!
what happened to you?
you are supposed to be my family but,
once again
*PUNCH*
*tears* you beat me down
like an unwanted creature
for an unknown cause
BROTHERS are supposed to care
BROTHERS are supposed to be there
to HELP not HURT
*KICK*
once again
you hurt me
and i don't know why
I can't ease this pain so quickly
for each blow to my body
is a stab to my heart
I scream
no one helps me
they ignore it
my mother says it's normal
she applauds my brother
and he beats me again
I stand up and yell out with false hope
"WHY?! I AM YOUR LITTLE SISTER!"
he lets out his laugh that chills my bones
and stops long enough to say
"HA! Some sister you are! YOU'RE PATHETIC! You're NOT my sister!"
*SLAP*
I fall back to the ground
he keeps laughing
and so does my mother
some family THEY are!
*PUSH*
I get away and lock them out
They pound on the door for a while
then give up
my mother and big brother
only want to see me hurt
I sit on my bed
and rock back and forth
all i can do is cry
cry and cry until I fall asleep
Nightmares, nothing else
reliving all the times
they have done this to me
I just lay there and wait
I prepare
I hide all of his possible weapons
all just for the next time



WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW?
Would you like to know, what it’s like to suffer?
Would you like to know, what it’s like to be abused?
Would you like to know, what it’s like to never dream?
Would you like to know, what it’s like to only have nightmares?
Would you like to know, what it’s like to be tortured?
Would you like to know, what it’s like to be depressed?
Would you like to know, what it’s like to cut yourself?
Would you like to know, what it’s like to almost die?
Would you like to know, what it's to feel true pain?
Would you like to know, what it’s like to love and loose?
Would you like to know, what it's to always feel hatred?
Would you like to know, what it’s like to be hated by your mother?
Would you like to know, what it’s like to be nearly raped?
Would you like to know, what it’s like to be stabbed by your brother?
Would you like to know, what it’s like to be beaten with a barbed wire lined bat?
Would you like to know, what it’s like to have bones broken by your parents?
Would you like to know, what it’s like to be hated by all?
Would you like to know, what it’s like to be shot?
Would you like to know, what it’s like to have someone try to slit your throat?
Would you like to know, what it’s like to be beaten and abandoned?
Would you like to know, what it’s like to nearly starve to death?
Would you like to know, what it’s like to truly despise your family?
Would you like to know, what it’s like to be stared at by all with disgust?
Would you like to know, what it’s like to be left for dead?
Would you like to know, what it’s like to have to hide from everyone?
Would you like to know, what it’s like to be dead inside?
Would you like to know, what it’s like to be burned by your mother with cigarettes?
Would you like to know, what it’s like to pull a piece of glass out of your leg that your mother put there?
Would you like to know, what it’s like to live this life?
Would you like to know, what it’s like to be me?
I can tell you.



THE MOMENTS BEFORE DEATH

My heart is weak
Death is near
I can hear him
Whisper in my ear

It hurts so badly
I wish it would end
Why won’t it stop?
I feel my very soul bend

He is telling me
It’s time to go
I can see it clearly
The bright lights glow

I can see my body
As my floats away
I wish that this
Wasn’t my last day

There is so much
I haven’t done
I miss having
Oh so much fun

I feel I could soar
Through the stars
I haven’t even
Been to many bars

I shall miss you all
I say farewell
All I hear
Is Deaths unholy bell

I am too scared to die
I am just a kid
I placed upon my life
A risky bid

So this is how it feels
To face my doom
All I see
Is the dark room

I open my eyes
And see my friends
They also wish
Not yet to feel my ends

They comfort me
As I come back to this place
They are so happy
To see my living face

Am I still alive?
Did I make it?
YES I DID!
I just need to sit

I will be more careful
Next time through
I will be more careful
As you as well should do

Take my advice
This wasn’t fun
I thought that I
Was surely done

That sensation
Was very strange
I was at the end
In deaths range

I thought I wanted to die
But I did not
Those moments were horrifying
This life will have a better plot

No more wrongs
In my life
I did not enjoy
That great strife

I am back
And plan to stay
For this was not
My last day

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